i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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