I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
