well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
