Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
