You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
