If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
