she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
