Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize