WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
