We're like a lot better than the average bears
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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