hell yes lets make some ravioli
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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