apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
