so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
