Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i permit you to call me
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
