No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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