We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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