what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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