He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
