my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize