Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize