if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
