I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You did what with his pubic hair?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
