im drinking this country out of the recession.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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