I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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