this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
