She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
