Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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