Someone shit on the floor
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
