In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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