My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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