This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
