On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
