Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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