Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
