have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
