You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
