I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
