Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
