I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
