on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize