Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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