guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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