Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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