I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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