at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
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