I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
