Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
