Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
