So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize