I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I accidentally burped into my bong.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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