Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize