fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
