just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Naked Twister starts at high noon
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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