life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
