Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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