dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Can I color on your dick again?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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