when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
accomplished twins. life is a go
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
