I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
