Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
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