My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize