I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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