my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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