why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
