i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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