Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
