Can Purell be used as lube?
I looked at my own cervix.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
