we made out on top of his cat.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
