I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
