ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
