community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
