Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
