I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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