So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
