What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
