I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
