...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
