It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
