i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize